Is it possible to be free and part of society?
I guess it depends how you define freedom.
Watching my daughters grow has been the most enlightening process I have experienced in my adult life. I’ll never forget looking into my daughter’s eyes, as she tried to understand the world she was seeing for the first time. After a few months, that look was usually followed by giggles and then laughs. Her discoveries were joyful. Not based on any ideology as they hadn’t yet adapted any. But just pure love radiating through her being. As she grew into a toddler, tears started to come from being restricted to explore freely and not being able to pursue the avenues that her curiosity took her through. That was the moment I started taking her freedom away.
Her freedom, or what she was allowed to do, was based on what I, as the parent, deemed acceptable.
I scrutinized every action my child took and corrected it. I mean it was my job as a good parent to keep her safe and teach her how to properly behave. Right? Every correction was based on what I deemed necessary for what I perceived as her safety or for my own comfort. It was my decision to make for her.
But was this a distorted ideology?
My oldest was born a free spirited child. She resided and still does in a slight meditative state disconnected from what is physically immediately in her surroundings. If we were anywhere near nature, one minute she would be next to us and the next off, seemingly talking to no one, drifting away through the foliage, gently touching plants. She would also love to climb trees and just sit between the swaying branches as if conversing with them. This was natural to her, this was not taught by me or anyone around her. And it was magical to watch.
What I did teach her was to be careful. “Watch your step as you climb that tree!”, “Not too high, you may fall!”, “be aware of your surroundings and make sure there is no danger”
What a crock of bull!
No, I don’t necessarily regret teaching her any of those things! Yes, it is possible for her to be kidnapped if a not well-intention man pops out of nowhere and she is not aware enough to run. Yes, she can fall and hurt herself. And yes, there are an indefinite number of scenarios that are possible that I could teach her to look out for. But what I do regret, is that I taught her to be afraid. All of these things, she grew up hearing from me, are all fear based.
I taught her that to be safe, she also needed to learn to fear the worst case scenario.
This is where I think the true answer of freedom within society comes into play. When you are born into a fear based society. Whose rules and laws are based on preventing “bad” things from happening instead of helping when they do, can you ever be truly free? Can you ever allow your child to be truly free? Or is what we consider freedom just a balance between doing what we truly want and giving up our wishes to co-exist?